Kuki vs Michael
by Bloody Simpson Chibi
Summary: A sweet but painfully stupid catgirl is stalked on Halloween night by a The Shape. This can't end well can it? Rated T CRACKFIC!


**Kuki vs. Michael**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Halloween**

"I can't wait till tonight!" Kuki shouted. "I have my costume and everything! And the best part: I got invited to my first ever Halloween party!"

"That's great Kuki but what about Trick-or-Treating?" asked Rolo, Kuki's little fox brother.

(Just don't ask)

"Sorry little bro. I'm too old for Trick-or-Treating." Kuki made a weird face, pouting her lips. "I'm a grown up!"

"Well guess what grown up? Mom said you have to take me tonight!"

"What!?" Kuki asked in surprise. "But the party is tonight!"

"I'm sorry Kuki." The sibling's mother said from the kitchen. "But as Rolo's older sister, you have a responsibility to take care of your brother. You can go to the party afterwards."

"No fair!" Kuki whined. "No fair! No fair! No fair!"

"That's enough!" Kuki's mother yelled. "You will take your brother Trick-or-Treating and that's final! Now if you excuse me, I have to leave for plot convenience." And with that, Kuki and Rolo's mother left.

Kuki dropped to the floor and moaned like Tina Belcher for 20 minutes. Then she stood back up and said "Fine. I'll take you Trick-or-Treating but we're going to the party afterwards!"

"Deal!" Rolo shouted happily. "I'll go get my costume." Rolo ran upstairs.

"That reminds me. I better get my costume too!" Kuki took a deep breath and shouted " MOON PRISM POWER MAKE-UP!" She went trough a transformation that changed her normal clothes into a Sailor Moon outfit. She even did the pose. Rolo came back wearing an Eevee onesie.

"Alright" Kuki said. "Let's go!"

Kuki and Rolo first went to their neighbors, Mr and Mrs Totoro. They gave the animal-eared siblings full size chocolate bars.

"Wow! Thank you!" Rolo squeaked.

As Kuki ate her candy, she got the strange feeling she was being watched. She turned around and noticed a man in a spray-painted Captain Kirk mask watching her and Rolo. She felt very creeped out.

"Come on Rolo! Let's go!" Kuki and Rolo continued to plunder candy from their neighbors while the Captain Kirk Man continued to stalk Kuki. After about an hour, Rolo's bag was full of candy.

"Ok. It's 9:00. That means it's time to go to the party."

Kuki and Rolo walked all the way to Scalene's house where the party was held. A lot of people were there and they were all in costume. Kuki looked around and saw her friends as well as her crush, Moko-Senpai. She off to meet them, leaving Rolo alone.

"Hi Doka! Hi Scalene!" She shouted.

Doka was dressed like an American Indian. Scalene was a sexy maid. Scalene's two lackeys, the Loxo twins, were dressed as Sherri and Terri from The Simpsons. Maxie, the shy girl with glasses, was dressed as a witch. The though jock Atlas was wearing nothing but a speedo which disgusted Kuki and Moko-Sempai was dressed as Superman.

"Hi Kuki!" Doka greeted. "Glad you could make it!"

"Yeah. Real glad." Scalene said sarcastically. "It's not like I was forced to invite you anyway.

"Hi Maxie! I love your witch costume!"

"Th-Thank you Kuki!" I like your costume too."

"Yeah! Your costume is really hot!" Atlas said while. Kuki was unsettled.

"Atlas. Why are you only wearing a speedo at night in October?" Doka asked while raising an eyebrow.

"Can't let a cold night deprive you fine ladies of my pecs can I?" Atlas's statement made Doka roll her eyes.

Kuki couldn't help but notice Moko-Senpai."

"Hi Mo-Moko." Kuki whispered sheepishly. "I really l-like yo-your costume."

"Thanks! Kuki!" Moko said. "I think your costume is really cute." Every blood vessel in Kuki's body rushed up to her face and she fainted.

"Oh shit! Kuki!" Doka screamed.

While Doka began preforming CPR on the unconscious catgirl, Scalene beckoned the Loxo twins to come closer.

"There is no way in hell I'm letting that furball ruin my shot with Moko-Senpai or winning the costume contest. I want you two to take Kuki to the haunted house across the street. It'll scare her so bad that she'll run home crying to her mommy!" All three laughed at the thought of Kuki crying and the Loxo twins agreed.

Meanwhile Maxie had busted out the defibrillator and prepared to restart Kuki's heart.

"CLEAR!"

One shock was all it took to get Kuki to wake up.

"I LIVE!" She screamed. As the catgirl dusted herself off, she was approached by The Loxo twins. The black haired one, Mai, spoke first.

"Hey Kuki. Would you come with us? We have something to show you."

"Uhhh...ok!" Kuki said. She and the Loxo twins left while Doka looked on.

"Hmmm What do the Loxo Twins want with Kuki?" She asked herself. She was too lost in thought to notice Maxie and Moko trying to resuscitate Atlas after he had passed out from the cold.

* * *

The Loxo Twins and Kuki were standing before the haunted house. A plastic Grim Reaper stood next to the entrance, making Kuki nervous.

"Um..Are you guys sure about this?" She asked.

"There's full-size chocolate bars for anyone who make it to the end." Sai said.

"O-Okay." Kuki slowly walked into the foggy entrance.

"I give her ten seconds before she runs out screaming for Doka." Mai said evilly.

"I give her five." Sai replied. Both Twins began to laugh so hard that they didn't notice a hand appear from the shadows and turn up the dial on the fog machine.

"Hey! Where the hell did all this fog come from?" Mai asked.

"I don't know? You don't think that Kuki knocked the fog machine down or something do you?" Sai got no answer.

"Mai?"

The sound of a knife slamming into human skin was heard but still no answer.

"Mai!" Sai reached out to grab her sister only for Mai to fall to the ground dead, a knife wound on her back.

"Mai!" Sai felt someone looking at her and turned to see a towering man wearing a white expressionless mask holding up a bloody knife.

"Ffffffffffiretruck." Sai said.

...

"Boy. This haunted house sure is scary." Kuki said to herself. A toy bat on a string dropped in front of her, causing her to scream. She ran to an area where a strobe light was flashing.

"Ohh! A rave!" She said happily as she began to dance. Sai ran into Kuki and they both fell to the ground.

"Oww! Oh Hi Sai!" Kuki chirped as they both got up and dusted themselves off.

"Kuki! Listen!" Sai exclaimed. "We need to get out of here now! There's a psycho running around and he's gonna kill us!"

"Really?" Kuki asked. "Does he have a really terrible Captain Kirk mask on?"

"Y-yeah. How'd you know?" Sai asked. Her question was answered when a knife was jabbed into her back. Because they were in a strobe light, Kuki could see the image of the killer stabbing Sai face in and out.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Kuki screamed as she ran all the way to the exit and out the door. A few seconds later, she came back to get her chocolate bar and ran off again.

* * *

"And that's why I clench my butt cheeks every time I sneeze." Atlas said proudly. Doka, Moko and Maxie were all horrified but slowly clapped.

"That's for that story no one asked for." Doka said through her teeth. They were interrupted by the sound of Kuki screaming. The catgirl fell flat on her face in front of the group, causing Doka to facepalm.

"Guys! There's a crazy guy wearing a really bad Captain Kirk costume making people die!" Kuki screamed. He got the Loxo Twins and now he's coming for us!"

Doka picked Kuki off the ground and tried to calm her down.

"Kuki. We've been over this. Just because someone's costume is horrible doesn't mean they are."

"No Doka! I really mean it! There was blood and everything!"

"B-blood?" Moko fainted at the mere mention of the word.

"Oh dear!" Maxie exclaimed. "What are we gonna do?"

"I'll tell you what we're gonna do!" Atlas shouted. "I'm gonna go out there and kick that guys ass. How dare he kill two hotties like the Loxo twins!"

"I think you're missing the point." Doka sighed.

"No matter!" Atlas said in heroic voice. "I will protect you ladies from the monster outside." And with that, Atlas went to beat up the psycho.

(Keep in mind he's still only wearing a speedo.)

Meanwhile Maxie and Kuki were using the defibrillator to revive Moko.

"I LIVE!" He shouted as he regained consciousness, causing his two admirers to cheer and hug each other.

"Hey!" Kuki shouted. "Where's Scalene?"

"She's standing with the other contestants for the costume contest."

"Shouldn't we be more worried about Atlas?" Maxie interjected. "I mean he did go outside to where the killer is."

"K-killer?" Moko tried to faint again but was caught by Doka. "Look! I'm sure if there was really a killer out there, we would k-" Doka was interrupted by a tap on her shoulder. Doka turned around and saw a man wearing a white mask.

"C-can I help you?" She said.

The man didn't say anything but held up something in Doka's face. It was Atlas's head with the eyes, teeth and tongue cut out with a candle inside his mouth.

"Oh no." Doka said The entire group ran toward the the stage where the costume contest was taking place.

"And first place goes to Sca-"

Doka grabbed the microphone out of the announcer's hands.

"Everyone evacuate now!" She screamed. There's a killer here and he's going to-

The announcer grabbed the mic. "Give that back!" Doka and the announcer started fighting over the mic.

"Please listen to her!" Kuki pleaded. The crowd gasped when they saw Kuki, making her blush a little.

"Well well well." The announcer ripped the mic out of Doka's hands, causing her to fall flat on her face.

"What's your name cutie?" He asked Kuki.

"K-Kuki?"

"Well Kuki. You're our new winner!" They gave Kuki a huge trophy and a bowl of Halloween candy which she ate in one gulp.

"What the hell!?" Scalene protested. "My costume is way better than hers!"

"Don't get me wrong." The announcer explained. "We all love maids but nothing can beat a neko Sailor Moon!" The whole audience cheered. Scalene turned angerly to Kuki and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"This is all your fault! What do you have to say for yourself catgirl?" She asked.

After swallowing the candy that was still in her mouth and still in it's wrapper. She said "Look out behind you!"

Scalene turned around and saw a man in a white mask looking her straight in the eye. "What are you looking at creep!?" Scalene slapped him across the face and the man responded by stabbing 37 times in the chest then decapitating her. Scalene's head fell into a barrel full of dunking apples and someone grabbed it by the hair with their teeth.

The crowd gasped...then cheered!

"Killer special effects!"

Doka woke up and rubbed her head.

"Where am I?" She asked as Kuki grabbed her hand and pulled her up.

"Come on! We gotta go!" She screamed.

Kuki, Doka, Maxie and Moko all ran off the stage and into Moko's car. The drove off as fast as they could.

"Weregonnadieweregonnadieholyshitweregonnadie!" Moko screamed.

"Just calm down!" Doka shouted. "We're going to live. There's no way that maniac can catch up to us on foot."

"What about on wheels?" Kuki pointed to Scalene's car following them. The killer was driving it.

"Aww! Come on!" Doka pressed on the pedals and went as fast as she could. But no matter how fast she went, the killer kept up until he was neck to neck with her. He bumped the car and sent it crashing into tree. A shard of glass shot into Maxie's throat and another into Moko's right eye. Kuki was shot out the window.

The killer rolled up and left the car. He began walking toward Kuki. The injured catgirl saw the man approaching her and tired to run but her leg was too hurt. She had no other option.

She would have to confront him.

"I didn't want to have to do this! But you leave me no choice!" Kuki reached into the pockets that magically appeared on her skirt and pulled out candy which she threw at the killer. The killer flailed his arms in surprise at the attack.

"I was hoping to eat that candy but you can have it if you leave us alone." Kuki said.

The offering only seemed to make the man madder as he charged at Kuki, holding his knife high above his head.

"Oh no! The candy didn't work! What am I going to do? Why is he so angry? Maybe it's his horrible Captain Kirk costume? That's it!"Kuki took out a can of spray paint and began spraying the man's face. The paint got in his eyes and he reeled back.

"Calm down. I'm trying to color your mask so you look more like Captain Kirk. That's who you are for Halloween right?" The man slapped the spray paint out of Kuki's hand and tried to stab her in the stomach. Instead of slicing through Kuki's stomach, there was a crunching sound. Kuki tearfully took the stabbed candy bar out of her costume.

"Can't I save just one piece of candy?"

The man dropped his knife and began throwing a silent fit. He stomped his feet and threw his hands in the air all without making a sound. Then he finally calmed down, flipped Kuki off with both hands, and stormed off. He came back a few seconds later to get his knife back and left.

Kuki stood next to the car for a few moments, lost in thought.

"Hey Doka?" Kuki said. "I just realized who that person was."

"Really?" A wounded Doka asked as she pulled Moko out of the car. "W-What?"

"I think that man was Michael Myers. He's my aunt's-brother's-son's wife's-Goldfish's -Uncle twice removed."

Doka gave a hard stare at Kuki, threw her hands in the air and yelled to the sky: "WHY ARE WE EVEN FRIENDS!?"

"Well that's the end of that chapter." Moko said before coughing blood and dying.

"Oh no!" Kuki shouted. "I just realized-

Doka sighed. "What? That Michael has a wife or something?"

"No! My little brother Rolo! I forgot all about him.

* * *

"And first prize for Cutest costume is...The boy in the Eevee suit! The announcer gave Rolo a huge shiny medal while a beautiful woman wearing a black bikini with Jack-o-Lanterns on the bra and a black cat on the bottom kissed him on the cheek.

Rolo smiled. "Now this is what I call a happy ending!"

 **The End**


End file.
